Seriously, I thought I left my acne days long behind with my braces and metal locker. Then, after an especially stressful past few weeks due to work, I noticed a bonafide zit sitting on my forehead. This was no subtle zit. This was a major red BEACON sending out a signal to all the zits of the world: Unite! Sebum power! It looked like a small volcano.

I shrugged it off and continued to stay up late, build my coffee dependency, and nurture my five growing ulcers taking root in my stomach lining. But what could I do? I’m in charge of a project at work that is PAINFUL and is sucking the life out of me. At least the pain, though, is temporary - the crazy/stressful part of it will be over soon.

Also. Leftover Halloween chocolate: Evil zit enabler.

Meanwhile, each day, I notice Mama Zit has given birth to additional baby zits which have grown into beacon zits in their own right. (Beacon zits. Like bacon bits but a lot less festive.)

Before kids, I used to exercise regularly which would probably have halted my current pizza face development. Now, there’s no time. I wake up to the sound of a pressing, “MAMA! MAMA!” and am far too exhausted after tucking them both into bed to think about moving any muscle voluntarily that doesn’t aid directly in resting. 

Meanwhile, The Husband, who’s been hearing me cry out with each new pimple discovery, says that he has no idea what I’m talking about and that he hasn’t noticed! 

(This is the same guy who always flails when I ask “Do you like my new make-up [haircut][hightlights]?”

As if I’m imagining my pizza face. I wish.

There’s nothing sadder than an old person with an acne problem (me).

Anyway, we’re trying to schedule our family holiday photo session, and I’m just hoping that I can get my face back to normal by then.  I don’t particularly want to resemble Rudolph’s sad cousin, Ruby the Red-Zit-Faced Reindeer.