Baring it All (in Public)

The other day Caveman and I were in the waiting area of a kids’ gymnastics place, waiting as Princess learned to balance and tumble. Fortunately, one of our friends in the class has a younger sibling Caveman’s age, lets call her Blondie, so the two of them wreak havoc in the waiting area, rearranging chairs into spaceships and running around like maniacs, while we wait for the hour-long class to be over. If the gym employees mind, they don’t say anything.

Caveman and Blondie announced they wanted to play “Penguins and Monster.” This is a super fun game that involves them waddling like penguins and me being a monster trying to catch and eat them. The other parents trying to get work done on their laptops, coax siblings to do homework, or just enjoy an hour without their children climbing on them really love it, too. I’m chasing the squealing penguins around, encouraging them to squeal quietly, when Blondie comes up behind me and tugs on my pants.

Of course I am wearing sweatpants—but don’t worry, I’m quick. I grab the waistband and say, “Hey, don’t pull my pants down! Especially not in public! No one wants to see that!!” I’m turning around to tickle her when I look over and realize that Caveman, upon hearing our exchange, had been inspired.

He’s standing in the middle of the waiting area with his pants AND underwear down around his ankles, grinning proudly.

Blondie’s mom and I both laugh hysterically while other parents and gym employees look at us like we are nuts. I go over and try to pull up his pants, but I’m laughing so hard it’s kind of difficult, and I only laugh harder when Blondie reaches for her waistband, ready to join in the fun. Fortunately, we stop her in time, calm down, get everyone’s pants up, and have a discussion about how we don’t pull our pants down when we’re in public.

This, by the way, is the same kid who gets hysterical and whines, “But I CAAAAAN’T DOOOO IT! I NEED HELP! It’s TOO HAAARD for MEEEE!” when I tell him to go potty on his own at home. Maybe if I put a potty in the front lawn he’d stop whining-but I’m guessing the neighbors would get upset.