September 10, 2012 By Tina

Would You Hire a Hot Babysitter?

At some point most parents have to hire a babysitter (unless you are blessed to have grandparents close by without Bunko commitments on a Saturday night.) Anyone who has been through the babysitter search knows it is an exhaustive process to find someone of sound mind and body capable of putting your children to bed with more compassion than your own “GET TO BED NOW” threats, and no one wants to come home to find a Nancy Grace camera crew parked on their front lawn. I am fortunate to have found a great babysitter. She is smart, caring, polite and always on time. She is also young and “hot.”

My hot sitter has raised some eyebrows amongst my mommy-friends. They worry that I am unaware of the tendency of men of a certain age, worn down by diaper duty and a mid-life muffin-top to take their testosterone for a test drive. I am aware of this.

My husband is from the Caribbean, he grew up around beautiful women in bikinis. Why he chose to marry me, a woman who considers herself tanned when she is any shade darker than paper and who last wore a bikini at the age of twelve, remains a mystery. I hired the hot-sitter simply because hotness is nothing new to my husband and also because the sitter can’t help the fact she has great genes (as well as jeans).

However, this is not a decision everyone should make. Each household must have its own tolerance on hot-sitters. Should you be faced with the same decision one day, I have provided my own set of guidelines.

1.) Is She Trying To Be Hot? Short-shorts, cleavage or laughing at your husband’s golf jokes, require you to take a pass. (There is no such thing as a funny golf joke).

2.) Are You Hot? You can’t have two hotties in the same household or things are going to get crazy. You will keep trying to one-up the hot-sitter until you find yourself heading out for date-night wearing a tube top and 4″ heels. Take a pass.

3.) Are You Super-Secure? It takes a firm sense of self to hire a hot sitter (or simply being over the age of forty). If you pick up Oprah magazine for the latest “True Self” quiz take a pass on the hot-sitter. You may burst into tears when she shows up wearing a white dress and tells you how much fun they are going to have finger painting.

For now, all is well in our household with the hot-sitter. But I suggest you proceed with caution because hotness can be well, “too hot to handle” for some.

So tell me, would you or have you, hired a hot-sitter?

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About Tina

Tina lives in Phoenix, the Valley of the Sun(burn). She is mother to daughter “Sun-Bun”, b.2007 and son “Pookie”, b.2009 and Blue, the saddest bulldog in the world. She is married to a quirky man from Trinidad, which Tina is pretty sure is Spanish for “land of sexy dancers.” During the day Tina works in wireless telecommunications, spreading cell phone signals to all corners of the country - including your car (but please don’t text and drive). Tina suffers from parenting esteem issues which she attempts to mask with sarcasm and wine. She strongly believes that if Virginia Woolf had been a mother she would have penned, “A Bathroom of One’s Own.” She is also convinced that Nature may well be a mother, but the destructive forces of gravity could only have come from a man. When she is not aimlessly wandering the grocery store aisles, digging BPA-free sippy cups out of the back of her minivan or patrolling her home for scorpions, Tina can be also be found at Three In the Bed.

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